Internet Lends New Life to Violent Videos

“Grab it as hard … as you can and wrench,” says a homeless man miming a wrenching action. “It’s got to break it.” The black gloved hand of the man holding the camera reaches into the frame and clamps a pair of pliers onto one of the man’s teeth.

The video begins to move in slow motion as the gloved hand tenses up and yanks the tooth from the man’s gums. Because the video is in slow motion, the man’s cries of pain sound deep, guttural, and utterly alien. He turns, stumbles a few steps away from the camera, and the shot centers on his bloody tooth clasped in the pliers.

“We’re going for the next one,” says the cameraman.

This video clip is from “Bumfights,” a series of popular DVDs in which homeless people perform degrading stunts for which they are paid a few dollars and alcohol. While a number of retail giants like Target and Wal-Mart have officially stopped selling the Bumfights video series due to pressure from homeless advocates, the series is gaining a whole new life on the Internet. The DVDs are being sold online, fans are uploading clips from the series to sites like YouTube, and some fans are even creating their own Bumfights-inspired videos to post online.

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DC Area Foreclosures “Ripe for the Picking”

Even Donald Trump wants a piece of the action. Real estate professionals are viewing the surge in foreclosed homes in the Washington area as an opportunity to make some money and, they say, help homeowners in distress keep a roof over their heads.

The Donald’s educational venture, Trump University, has launched a series of seminars aimed at teaching people how to purchase properties from troubled homeowners at rates well below market value. Last month, hundreds of people attended free “Profit from Foreclosures” seminars around Arlington and McLean in Virginia and Bethesda, Md., to learn from Trump’s ideas.

“The D.C. area is ripe for the picking in foreclosures,” said Denise Devoe, the seminar speaker and Trump University faculty member whose free presentation focused on the success former Trump University students experienced after taking a separate $995 three-day course on foreclosed real estate.

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The Beef

Now, don't get me wrong: Transformers are awesome. There's no denying it. I'm not going to lie to you, when Optimus Prime died in the original Transformers movie, I cried. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the cartoon.

But, something is chaffing me about the new Transformers movie. It took me awhile to pinpoint just what it is about the new movie that seems off and not genuine to me.

For while, I thought that it's because the movie is not entirely animated. Sure, the robots are computer generated, but I'm not pleased with the choice to use live action.

But that isn't what's chaffing me.

There's definitely something else. Something less glaring but, nevertheless, more irritating. Like a paper cut under your fingernail. Then, I saw it, clear as day, in one of the previews

Here it is. See if bothers you too:



The Strokes? Are you kidding me? Who are the production wizards that decided to put Shia "the Beef" in a Strokes t-shirt?

How can you be so clearly shooting for the 25 to 35-year-old demographic and miss by about 4 years? "Is this It" came out in 2001! Two mediocre albums later and you're trying to make your production look "with it," "cool," and "now" by putting "the Beef" in a Strokes shirt?

Why not just put him in a fucking Gin Blossoms t-shirt and be done with it. You're clearly out of the loop and your failure to accurately target my demographic wouldn't bug me so much if you weren't trying so hard.

It's like the time my Mom called something that was clearly a bowl a "crack pipe."

And, for the record, I'm not pleased with the Chevy cross-promotional bullshit, either.

A More Vulnerable Class

A hate crimes bill passed the House on Thursday, May 3, which would extend coverage to people targeted because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability (Chicago Tribune).

What is lost in the discussion is a movement to protect a class of people more vulnerable than the 82 people killed because of their race, ethnicity, or sexual or religious orientation between 1999 and 2005: homeless people.

According to a report issued by the National Coalition for the Homeless (NCH), during that same time period, 169 homeless people were murdered because of their housing status. That's more than twice the amount of those murdered because of their race, ethnicity, or sexual or religious orientation combined!

Over the past 25 years, a number of cities have passed laws that target homeless people. They restrict when and where homeless people can sleep, sit, beg, or bathe. This sends a message that reinforces a negative stereotype of homeless people. It sends a message that their lives are not as valuable and that homeless people can just be swept away.

That is part of the reason why homeless people are being targeted in violent attacks. People see that their city governments have little respect for the rights of homeless people to do what they need to survive. Across the board, there is a lack of capacity in emergency shelter systems and there is a real lack in the systems' ability to bring in people off the street. Approximately, 44% of the nation's homeless people are unsheltered (Homelessness Counts). When a city can't provide the shelter space or services needed by homeless people, they need to sleep, eat, and bathe in public spaces.

Coupled with cities' lack of respect for homeless people, is an increasing amount of violent attacks on them. One need only look at the "Bumfights" videos. The producers of the "Bumfights" videos pay homeless people to batter each other for money and they've been cited as an influence in a number of cases where teenagers killed homeless people for "sport."

In cases across the country, we see homeless people being beaten with tire irons, baseball bats, and golf clubs. We see homeless people set on fire. We see homeless women raped (NCH Study).

So while federal legislation to add sexual orientation, gender, and disability as protected classes under federal hate crimes laws is an important first step, we also need to consider protecting another, more vulnerable, class: homeless people.

Mmmmm, Tastes like Snark

Wednesday evening, a new documentary will premier on PBS will explore how life after 60 will look for the Baby Boomers.

The New York Times asks, "Will the boomers quietly — and uncharacteristically — get off the stage and leave the messy questions about the environment and the social safety network to the youngsters? Or as science extends life, will they lead the charge in reshaping notions of age in the 21st century?"

Dr. Ken Dychtwald, the gerontologist and psychologist who conceived the film, thinks that in the very near future there are going to be "mindboggling" scientific breakthroughs that will extend the lives of a number of boomers past the century mark.

Because of intense pressure from the most "politically-active" generation, the government will fund extensive research in to how to extend human life. Scientists will find the magic-bullet to stave of the Grim Reaper within the next 15 years.

According to Dr. Dychtwald, research indicates that the secret to longer life for the boomers will be: gorging on the flesh of Generation X.

It's true! It's true!

By devouring their own children, the boomers will find the extra energy they need to sell out their transgressive past and invest heavily in Ameriprise! And drive a Cadillac while listening to Led Zeppelin.

That's right! Clean, gut, filet, and grill up one of those apathetic and snarky Gen X-ers. Spice them up with a little basil and some oil and prepare to enjoy the decadence! Not only will it smooth out those "worry-lines," but it'll add decades to your life expectancy!

Guaranteed.

King Billy's Statue

At the Christmas party that is central to James Joyce's "The Dead," Gabriel Conroy tells a story about Patrick Morkan, the old gentleman, and his mill horse named Johnny. Johnny used to walk round and round in order to drive the mill. But, one day, the old gentleman decided he would like to drive out to a military review in the park. The old gentleman harnessed Johnny, put on his very best best stock collar and drove out in grand style. Everything went beautifully until Johnny came in sight of William the Orange's statue in college green. Johnny thought he was back in the mill again and he began to walk around the statue.

"Round and round he went... and the old gentleman, who was a very pompous old gentleman was highly indignant. Go on, sir! What do you mean, sir? Johnny! Johnny! Most extraordinary conduct! Can't understand the horse!"

Johnny, after years of driving the mill, round and round, all day, every day cannot be another type of horse. He cannot adapt to a new function. He knows no better. His life was driving the mill, so even when released from repetitive labor, he cannot do anything but drive the mill.

What makes the moment poignant in the story is Ireland's history of trauma under British rule - suffered under the likes of William of Orange. Joyce's Ireland is a stagnant one. One that cannot escape the trauma of colonial rule and readily accepts and repeats their suffered systems of oppression. Their's is a society that cannot do anything but continue to be defined by their abuse.

These traumas exist in each of our lives and they define our relationships with all those whom we choose to become intimate. Unfortunately, too many of us refuse to accept those traumatic moments, those moments of utter mental anguish that define us. And, we refuse to understand how those moments affect the people we hold most dear.

Instead, we choose to disavow the moments that define us, we use a band-aid when what we really need is a ternicate. We develop behaviors that protect and prevent us from dealing with the pain. We stagnate.

We're back in the mill again. Round and round we go.

The Curse of the Anti-Slip Applique

Spring training is here! Spring training is here!

Pitchers and catchers reported for spring training last week. Which means, we're one step closer to another White Sox World Series in 2007!

Look at the optimism people!

But, my optimism and good spirits are, in fact, a very sinister thing. Like the good White Sox fan that I am, I take enormous amounts of pleasure in the misfortune of the yin to my yang. The north side to my south side. The Chicago Cubs.

The baseball gods are alive and they are certainly smiling upon the south side.

Kerry Wood fell down getting out of a hot tub.

The story is four days old at this point, but whenever I picture the man with the cheesy goatee slipping and falling down in the hot tub, a sinister grin smears across my face.

I mean, can it get any more perfect?

Maybe if A-Rod pulled his groin during a whine-fest with Esquire magazine and Mark Prior pulled his groin while walking out on an autograph session to benefit charity.

Kerry Wood fell down! Injuring his ribs! I mean, the guy can't even stand up with injuring himself! And yet, every year Cubs fans across the city of Chicago say, "Next year will be better. We'll have Wood and Prior back and we'll have a chance to win the NL Central."

And every year Wood and Prior get injured and pitch maybe half the season.

Then, the Tribune Company signs them to enormous contracts based on their "potential."

Ha!

Someone should buy the Cubs some of those decorative anti-slip bath appliques.